Since 2020, September has been a troubling month for me. It was the month that I lost my grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s dementia.
It was late September. Because she had dementia for the last 13 years of her life, I witnessed some of its effects personally. So, I decided I would tell her story and a factually accurate description of dementia that not many people know. I feel like most people don’t know how traumatic dementia is until they experience it for themselves, with someone they love.
My grandma “Betty” was born on Nov. 13, 1953, here in Cincinnati. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when I was three, and she had it for the last thirteen years of her life. During these years, my family and I saw my grandma’s mind deteriorate slowly, but gradually. It was a very traumatic process. We watched helplessly as her brain slowly began to forget us. Slowly she lost the sense of her personality and her person. That to me is the scariest part of dementia, just knowing you can’t do anything to prevent your mind from slowly wiping away every memory and every person you’ve ever known.
Eventually, my grandmother forgot how to perform daily tasks that we all have to do, such as chewing and eating food or how to drink properly. Her Alzheimer’s was getting worse and worse. Seeing her the day before she passed was the most traumatic thing I’ve gone through, even to this day. I still think about her and her condition too much.
Alzheimer’s is a disease that affects an estimated 7 million people aged 65 or older. The CDC defines Alzheimer’s as: “…not a specific disease but rather a general term for the impaired ability to remember, think, or make decisions that interfere with everyday life.” Alzheimer’s is not simply forgetting where you put your keys one day, although it’s one of the most recognizable symptoms many people think of when they think of the disease. Memory loss is often the earliest sign of memory Alzheimer’s. Individuals may have trouble remembering recent events or conversations while retaining other memories from the distant past. As the disease progresses, this forgetfulness intensifies, impairing the patient’s ability to perform simple, everyday tasks, recognize familiar faces, or recall important information like dates or names.
In the next stages of Alzheimer’s, the cognitive decline worsens beyond memory impairment—Alzheimer’s leads to a further decline in cognitive function, affecting various mental processes. The patient may struggle with concentration, problem-solving, and decision-making, making it increasingly challenging to follow directions or plan. Tasks that once seemed effortless become extremely difficult, if not impossible. This process completely erodes the patient’s confidence, free will, and self-independence in most cases.
Alzheimer’s also disrupts the patient’s language and communication skills, impairing both comprehension and expression. Individuals may struggle to find the right words, repeat themselves frequently, or have difficulty holding or following conversations. As the disease progresses, coherent speech becomes more sporadic, compounding frustration, loneliness, and isolation. The patient may feel as if they’re completely alone while fighting this disease. This sounds both devastating and horrifying. Imagine feeling completely alone and helpless while fighting this traumatic disease. Imagine fully knowing that your brain is slowly disintegrating in your head and you can do nothing to save it.
Disorientation and confusion are hallmark symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, as individuals struggle to make sense of their surroundings and situations. They may become lost in very familiar places, forget the date or time frequently, or experience difficulties recognizing people they once knew very well, perhaps a child whose face they’ve seen every day for years. This disconnection from reality can lead to anxiety, agitation, a sense of vulnerability, and a loss of self for the patient. They may begin to forget who they are. That, to me, is scary part of Alzheimer’s, just waking up one day and forgetting everything about yourself and with no sense of self. That is horrifying to me.
Alzheimer’s impairs judgment and decision-making abilities, making individuals vulnerable to poor choices and risky behavior. They may struggle to assess situations accurately, exhibit poor financial behavior, or fall prey to scams or exploitation. This decline in particular poses a challenge not only for the patient but also for the caregiver as well. This challenge necessitates increased supervision and support. Often the caregiver is forced to put the patient in a nursing home or some other assisted living facility that can care for the patient better. My mother was forced to do this exact thing with my grandmother when I was younger. It had become too difficult to care for her alone.
Alzheimer’s disease also often precipitates noticeable changes in personality and behavior, altering fundamental aspects of the patient’s character. NIH.gov lists the following personality changes most seen throughout patients, “Getting upset, worried, and angry more easily, acting depressed, or not interested in things, hiding things or believing that other people are hiding things, imagining things that aren’t there, wandering far away from home, pacing a lot, showing unusual sexual behavior, hitting you or other people, misunderstanding what he or she sees or hears.” In some cases, previously calm patients may become aggressive or paranoid, posing even more challenges for loved ones and caregivers.
As Alzheimer’s progresses, it can and often will lead to a decline in motor skills and coordination, impacting mobility and daily life. Individuals may experience difficulties with balance, moving, and fine motor movements, increasing their risks of falls and accidents. These physical impairments further diminish the patient’s independence and quality of life. This stage is often one of the last stages of life for the patient.
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